


Fitzroy Maplecourt is his own person

by Varil_Lara



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Fitzroy is canonically asexual, For once I’m not sorry, Gen, That information causes me to black out and when I woke up I’d written this, a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:41:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varil_Lara/pseuds/Varil_Lara
Summary: Fitzroy Maplecourt is not a sexual person.
Comments: 30
Kudos: 118





	Fitzroy Maplecourt is his own person

**Author's Note:**

> In the latest TTAZZ, someone asked if any of the boys would ever consider playing an asexual or aromantic character, to which Griffin replied that that had been- and still was- his intention with Fitzroy, and I blacked out. He then went on to mention his inspirations for this choice, how he wanted to play/explore it, how he felt that it might have played a small but important role in the flashback episodes, etc. But he also mentioned how he felt kind of dumb for introducing Fitzroy as "sexy and sexual", even as a joke, because it contradicted the view he had, and wanted to establish, of him. One of the other boys introduced the idea that perhaps that was how other people viewed him as opposed to being an actual trait of his. That comment inspired me to write this. (After I recovered of course because I really did need a minute.)

_ Sexual. _

It’s not a label he’d ever pick for himself- would never really even consider it in regards to himself or have it pass through his mind- but he’s at Clyde Nite’s Night Knight School now and he doesn’t really get to pick the labels that are applied to him. Not that he had been able to pick them before, but in the past he’d always had some amount of sway. Not so much now. He has no friends at this school, by his own choice, and therefore no one’s mind to establish a solid character in. What’s known about him is what others observe from afar, constantly changing from day to day as he eats lunch alone, lends a classmate a pen, fucks up a simple spell again. He’s ambitious, then he’s a failure. Personable, then a loner, He’s whatever fits his actions of the day; weird and weirder, and out of place. Stylish at one point, to one person, and so perhaps he does have some power in how his peers view him, but not a lot, not in a positive direction. 

In the past, he’s never let it bother him; he reminds himself not to let it bother him every night as he stares up at the ceiling in a trance. He’s not here to make friends. There is no need to make a good impression, any sort of impression, on his fellow students. He’s not here to be judged by them, so when he first hears it-  _ “Fitzroy seems kinda sexual, don’t you think?” _ \- he lets it wash over him, then drip off until he’s dry. It’s a strange assumption, an odd statement to make, but he thinks very little about it other than a moment to try and pinpoint the action that could have caused it. Then it happens again, and it’s stranger this time. The way it’s said is more forceful and confident, like it’s a fact. It makes him uneasy, but he pushes it down and moves on like he always has. Then he hears it again, and then it’s everywhere, all of a sudden, and he’s drenched in it with no time to dry off before another wave crashes over him. 

Rumours spring up, ranging from the plausible to the absurd, but all untrue, irrevocably so. Fitzroy Maplecourt is not a sexual person. It’s a fact as sure as the sea is filled with salt, but that doesn’t seem to matter. Suddenly, it’s what he’s known for; a solid character trait. 

Overnight- that’s how it feels to him- everyone changes around him, and every action he makes is now viewed differently. People turn sly eyes upon him when he walks by, and implications lie under the surface of every interaction he chooses to have with another person. Every action towards him seems to be informed by this new cloak he’s wearing as well. People joke with him, though it feels like it’s more at him, and someone even slaps him on the back and winks in a way that is so exaggerated yet final, that he’s forced to stand there unmoving until they’re no longer in sight. As always, he tries not to let it get to him and tries not to think too hard about it, but for some reason, it’s harder than all the other times. It’s like, he decides, if everyone suddenly started calling him a gnome, instead of a half-elf. Or if he decided that he was only an elf, or only a human. It’s not like that entirely, or even at all, he knows, but it feels like it. He feels like he would react the same if that was what was happening. 

All in all, it only really goes on for a week or two- bordering on three depending on when he wants to pin it’s beginning- but it still lingers after that, in his own mind and seemingly in everyone else's. They all appear disappointed, as if he’d failed to live up to some expectation of theirs. Fitzroy Maplecourt is not a sexual person, and for some reason that bothers them just a little bit. He’s sure that it has nothing to do with the specifics, and more to do with the fact that they no longer had a fixed way to think of him, but he can’t help but acknowledge the possibility that the other option might be true; Fitzroy is not sexual, and that bothers them.

After a while, it starts to bother him too. 

In class, at lunch, in bed, he does what he promised himself he wouldn’t; he lets it get to him. First, he tries to dissect their disappointment, and when he can’t find anything within it, he dissects his own lack of sexuality. Question after question goes through his head, and are easily answered at first, but then his mind begins to struggle. He doesn’t have answers or reasons. Things are just the way they are, and for some reason, even though it never has been before, that is unacceptable. So, he looks back on his entire life and begins to pull that apart too. Recalling at night every feeling he’s ever had- every relationship, every interaction- he dives through his past to find anything even close to an answer, or that will lead to one, and resurfaces empty-handed. It upsets him, more than many things ever have. He still gets on with classes and studies, because that’s what he’s here to do, but every spare moment that his mind isn’t distracted, thoughts and questions seep back in and cause his heart to sink. For seconds at a time, he wants to be what everyone had wanted. Occasionally, in brief moments of loneliness, he tries to force himself to be. It never yields any results and just serves to make him feel worse. There was a reason the ‘failure’ label stuck around more than the others. 

The time it takes for him to almost completely get over it is longer than he would like, and the fact that it’s only ‘almost he would like to ignore, but he does, eventually. Fitzroy Maplecourt is not a sexual person, and that is simply a fact that needs no further explanation. He stops trying to explain it. 

  
  


_ “You know, kind of sexual- sexually active.” _

The comment catches off guard. It’s not a label he’d choose for himself. Not that he always gets to choose. 

He’s no longer at Clyde Nite’s Night Knight School, and he has friends, despite this new place supposedly not being where he belongs. Not that there’s really anywhere he doesn’t belong. Fitzroy Maplecourt is who he is, and will be who he wants to be, not who other people want. He tells that to Althea, Higglemas, Gray, Festo, Chaos, himself. He means it. 

“ _ Fitzroy just seems like the type.” _

“I’m not.” He yells across the dining room, voice tinted with laughter. Rainer looks across at him and smiles and Argo nearly jumps out of his skin. Master Firbolg nods stoically as if what he’d said held great wisdom and meaning. The student on the other side of the room laughs at his correction- laughs with him.

_ “You sure?” _ They tease in a way that’s playful and accepting, not disappointed.

“Absolutely.” He’s certain. 

He doesn’t question why.

**Author's Note:**

> No seriously, it killed me on impact.
> 
> (This is still the fastest I've ever written something though.)


End file.
